Some sad news

[Ryewolf]

It's a bit of a sad time at the moment as my father, aged 85, died on evening Saturday evening. He had been deteriorating quite quickly for the last month or more, they put him on end of life care on Thursday, I went to see him on  Friday with my sister and Auntie and he seemed quite perky and chatty, more like his old self. On Saturday my sister, brother and Mum went and he was the complete opposite..... His brother  had been to see him the week before, he died at 19:45pm, it was almost like he had been waiting for everyone to visit him.

I was on Pendle Hill photographing the sunset, this image was taken moments before I got the call....

[sjr]

My condolences to you and your family.

[Hatter]

Very sorry to hear that, Geoff.

[Denis]

Very sorry to hear of your loss mate, At least you were with him beforehand, many of us do not get the chance to say goodbye and that hurts more than anything.

Always on the end of the phone if ever you need a chat.

[Ryewolf]

Thanks Simon, Gareth and Denis.

[johntwo]

Inevitable but always sad.  Sorry to hear that Geoff.   It's never easy.

[Ryewolf]

Thanks John

[Kobione]

Sorry to read this Geoff, sincere condolences to you and the family. 

[FUJI]

My thoughts are with you Geoff..

FUJI

[Ryewolf]

Thanks Kobione and FUJI.

[JohnP]

So sorry to read this Geoff.

[Ryewolf]

Thanks John.

[Clicker]

We've had long calls on the phone  over the past few weeks  trying to prepare oneself for times such as these Rye  and I was so sad when you sent me the news .. it seems so fitting that you were taking the beautiful photo of the Sun going down whilst on Pendle Hill when you received the  call .. It will no doubt be a photo to treasure .... My condolences to you and your family ...

[Ryewolf]

Thanks Clicker. There's just so much to do after a death, it's almost like a full time job sorting everything out, I'm glad my sister has been able to help out as it would have been a daunting task if it was just me alone. We've been at it for 8 hours a day since Sunday and we've got more of the same for the next few days.

If I had any advice to anyone, young or old, based on what I've experienced it would be:

1.  Make a will - my Dad did, though it was a fairly simple one, but also keep it up to date to reflect changes.
2.  Pre-pay your funeral, and specify just what you want, we've had to guess just what my Dad might like for his funeral.
3.  It's a lot of work, it's not simple, get advice.

[Clicker]

Sadly there is  a lot of reticence about talking about this event before the inevitable happens and it often can lead to all kinds of difficulties and disagreements  whilst ascertaining the wishes of the departed  . My other half and I have had a long discussion which we update every few years with our family regarding  our wishes and  wills etc  have been discussed,organ donation, inheritance tax  etc and a box with relevant papers etc has been.drawn up  to ensure insurances pensions, subscriptions etc are all in one place   when the time comes ... 

You told me a number of stories  that  painted your Dad as quite a practical joker in his younger days .... things that really made me chuckle  so  I  hope that despite the sadness you are feeling now   you will be able to reminisce and  remember  happier times  as you and your family  prepare to celebrate his life at the end of this journey. . Thanks  for sharing this with your friends here on TIPF Rye.  We are always here for moral support ...... .  

[Ryewolf]

My Dads obituary has just appeared on the online version of our local newspaper, so it's the first time it's really sunk in that he's no longer with us... last week was so filled with the practicalities that had hadn't the time to really think about the reality that he's gone.

https://www.lancashiretelegraph.co.uk/announcements/deaths/deaths/17889362.Geoffrey_Edwardson/

 

[Craig]

I'm so very very sorry to hear this tragic news Geoff.
My sincere condolences go to you and your family my friend.    

Craig

[Ryewolf]

Thanks Craig, whilst very sad and I'm very upset, my Dad had a great sense of humour so he would be laughing about the funeral being on a Friday 13th. He was a great practical joker and was always telling stories:

When he first went into the care home he told everyone and the staff that his sister was a pole dancer..... despite her being in her 70's.... It was the sort of thing he always did, so me, my sister and brother will always remember him.....

[Craig]

2 hours ago, Ryewolf said:

Thanks Craig, whilst very sad and I'm very upset, my Dad had a great sense of humour so he would be laughing about the funeral being on a Friday 13th. He was a great practical joker and was always telling stories:

When he first went into the care home he told everyone and the staff that his sister was a pole dancer..... despite her being in her 70's.... It was the sort of thing he always did, so me, my sister and brother will always remember him.....

He certainly sounds like a real character with like you said a great sense of humour.

When I lost my parents one 5 years ago and the other 2 years ago, I was given this advice. 
"It's remembering the good times.. His personality and keeping memories alive. "

Something I personally have never forgotten. 
My thoughts and sincere best wishes are with you Geoff and with your family, now and especially on Friday.

Craig
 

[FUJI]

As an almost 82 year old, I can rationalise both sides of this sad, rather poignant thread..... 

As oldies, we have no choice but to continue life as normally as possible within our age related restrictions; personally I rejoice in the fact that I have reached an age far beyond that of my own, late, well loved parents and grandparents, so I wish for my life to be celebrated rather than mourned, whilst realising that this can’t be easy  for those left behind.

A life of over 80 years is one to be celebrated, to be remembered as positively as possible, through all the tears and emotional turmoil.....eventually all that will soothe to turn into fond memories.

Each of us has a limited time on this Earth, nothing can change that.....which is why I attempt to fill every one of my remaining days keeping positive, thoughtful and helpful to others within my current capabilities.

 

Below.... late Mam ......and.....Granny......both struggled through WWII to give me and my siblings the best start in life within their means....not forgetting Dad who was fighting for over 5 years and a Granddad who spent the war in the Daimler factory in Blitzed Coventry.

TEMPUS FUGIT.

Geoff , my thoughts are with you.

 

FUJI

 

 

 

 

 

[Denis]

I do hope all goes well for you and your family tomorrow Geoff, raise a glass to him and remember that those memories never leave you.

[Clicker]

My sentiments too Geoff ....you will be   in our thoughts  on Friday... I  love the fact that you knew your Dad would find the date of the 13th, something to smile about,  being such a practical joker himself .

[Kobione]

Thoughts will be with you today Geoff, hope things go well and there are some nice memories to help brighten the day.

[Ryewolf]

Thanks FUJI, Clicker, Denis and Kobione.

[Ryewolf]

Thanks for all the thoughts everyone, we're going to collect his ashes tomorrow and then arrange to take them to Southport. It's been such a busy month that it hasn't really sunk in properly