Copied from elsewhere ....DO YOU RECOGNISE YOURSELF HERE.

[FUJI]

I have read this on anther site........I just had to copy then post it here.....

Phototypes of the genus Photographicus .

I have been interested in Photography for longer than I care to remember and over the years I have noticed that Photographers come in many different varieties. So I have compiled a list of my observations. You may even recognise yourself in the list or perhaps a friend or member of your club.

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The Woolly Water Vole (P. Hydrophobis)

This species produces images of waterfalls and streams in which the water resembles a mass of cotton wool. It claims that it is a creative effect to portray the effect of movement, but the truth is that it has a camera with a shutter that seizes up in the presence of water. The only cure is a visit to the camera repair shop.

The Abstract Aardvark (P.Originalis)This species is obsessed with 'innovative photography' and will never take a photograph from a normal viewpoint. It is addicted to pattern, shape, texture and lighting. It can often be seen adopting strange postures in order to photograph its subject from an unusual angle. May be observed lying on its back, standing precariously on pillars or walls or even hanging by its heels from lamposts or other structures to get a different view of its subject.

The Wide Angle Wombat, (P. Granularis.)This species believes in economising on film. It goes through life with the sole intention of packing as many pictures as possible onto a single frame by the use of the wide angle lens. It then proceeds to enlarge small parts of the negative to obtain its final prints, with the result that the prints are usually grainy and lack definition. It will then claim that this is an intentional 'creative' effect.

The Digital Dragon, (P. Digitus.)

This species is terrified of the dark and keeps out of darkrooms. He finds it impossible to produce a straight print. He spends hours playing with his best friend the Mouse. He will eventually produce an 'image' that bears no relationship to the original photograph. This species is very sensitive to criticism and will breath fire over anyone who dares to imply that 'digital' is not real photography.

The Computer Chameleon, (P. Metamorphosis.)Related to the 'Digital Dragon', believes its mission in life is to change every colour in a photograph to produce a 'creative image'.

The Landscape Lemur, (P. Panoramicus.)He is a close relative of the Wide Angle Wombat, in that he tends to use the wider lenses. He is not so concerned with economy and generally uses the whole negative, or several combined for a single panoramic print.

The Fuzzy Frog, (P. Obscura)This is a very strange species, it usually owns a very expensive camera equipped with the best lenses available. It then proceeds to smear vaseline over a UV filter which it then attaches to the lens. This procedure produces blurred or fuzzy pictures which bear a marked resemblance to those produced by a sixpenny pre-war Kodak Box-Brownie.

The Hi Tech Hamster, (P. Technophilia.)This species is obsessed with the latest technology. He rushes around spending vast sums of money on the latest equipment, whether it is cameras, enlargers, timers, remote controls, light meters, dedicated flash units, digital cameras, scanners, computers, printers, the list is endless. Unfortunately by the time he has read and understood the instruction manuals there is new updated equipment available, so he starts all over again, with the result that he never has time to take any photographs.

The Long Focus Leopard & Telephoto Turtle, (P. Remotus. & P. Extremis.)These two related species are afraid to approach their subject and tend to stay as far away as possible. They will fit the longest focal length lens available to the camera, which will then be hand held, thereby producing nice close-ups or candid photographs. Unfortunately the subject will be unrecognisable due to camera shake. Some authorities believe they may have some of the same genes as the 'Fuzzy Frog'.

The Low Tech Lorus, (P. Technophobis.)

The exact opposite of 'Hi Tech Hamster'. He has probably been taking photographs for thirty years with the same camera, which is completely manual, with a couple of prime lenses, (50mm & 200mm) uses separate lightmeter. Will regularly produce excellent prints.

The Colour Slide Cat, (P. Psychedelicus.)

Believes that colour is the essence of life. It will photograph any subject so long as it contains every colour of the rainbow. 'The brighter the better' is his motto. This species has poor eyesight through constant exposure to bright colours and as a result has to project its pictures onto a large screen to see them.

The Monochrome Mouse, (P. Ecclesiastes.)

Has an almost religious belief in Monochrome. This species goes through life seeing the world in black & white (and shades of grey). It is fanatical about texture, tone, light, shade and composition. It is utterly convinced that colour is the work of the Devil and believes passionately that Black & White is the only true image.

The Variable Focus Vixen, (P. Prevaricatus.)

This creature does not like to be encumbered with several lenses, so it uses a zoom lens for all of it's work. It claims that a zoom lens allows it to fill the frame with any subject. The trouble is it can never make up its mind how much of the subject should be in the frame, or what size frame should fit the subject. By the time it has made up its mind the subject has moved off or the light has changed, so it misses the picture.

The Traditional Tortoise (P. Authenticus.)

This species is a real slow mover. It refuses to move into the 21st century. The word 'digital' causes it to explode into waves of apoplexy, and it will instantly retreat into the darkroom for refuge, where it will stay for several hours. When it finally emerges it will wave several dripping wet prints in the air screaming "This is real photography", "A pox on pixels" or "Look at this for quality".

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These are really the extreme species of the genus Photographicus. In reality most of us are hybrids of at least two of the species, but there are still a few of the pure strains lurking around in the world of photography. So keep your eyes peeled you may spot one any day.

Macroman. (P. Comicus)

(ADDENDUM..........CAN YOU THINK UP ANY MORE?)

FUJI

[KateW]

Brilliant! I think I'm a variable focus vixen!

[fuzzyedges]

The fuzzy frog is a distant cousin twice removed on the rich side of the family

As is the loud mouthed fuzzy frog that jumps all over the place and can talk an image better than he can take one His images are often fuzzy because he focuses with both eyes, one in the view finder and on the people close at hand, to which he can pounce and bore to death

We all have relations we are not proud of

[annie]

i think i could be a colour cat!

[Guest DaveW]

Think they have left me off, since being a predominantly close up photographer I must be The Myopic Mutant (P. myopicus), unable to photograph anything more than a meter away.

DaveW

[Denis]

Brilliant! I think I'm a variable focus vixen!

Me too:) although a dog-fox!

Edited October 27, 2012 by ChroNikon