Not Understanding

[FUJI]

Some of you may know, that for the past eight weeks or more I have been looking after the affairs of my seriously ill brother, a heavy smoker and drinker.....He was found in a collapsed state after falling, no one knows how long it was until he was discovered. To cut a very long story short, he had throat cancer 17 years ago, as a result he can't speak after having his larynx removed, after months of chemo therapy and vicious surgery, despite this he continued to smoke his 30-50 roll- ups a day. After being recently hospitalised after his fall and with heart problems, fluid on the lungs, grossly swollen ulcerated legs, three cracked vertibrae in his neck and a badly sprained wrist he remains there after five weeks) I casually mentioned, that, in effect, he has beaten the habit and needn't smoke again thereby saving money and his health......He went nuts!....stating that he has been smoking since he was ten and the first thing he will do on discharge, is to roll a ciggy. My son and I have spent all those weeks cleaning up his house and garden ready fir his return......so sad that tobacco addiction is SO strong that it blinds users to the very real and terrible dangers of consequences, even after weeks of trauma and agony.....I must admit to getting really stressed up about it, smoking has killed almost all of my immediate family....I have just one brother left of we seven kids.....my dad died aged just 57 after a succession of heart attacks and the amputation of one leg.....I am watching it happen all over again......I detest smoking.....

Sorry for the rant folks.......but this time, it has really got to me.....and I know that as friends, you will understand.

FUJI

[NannyFerret]

I know exactly what you mean. They just don't realize how much it affects people who care about them, do they?
Johns brother died with lung cancer and was a heavy smoker.

John packed up after a collapsed lung several years ago, only to accept a fag at a funeral off his so called cousin which started him off again.
It has only been since he had the serious attacks and had to have the Paramedics in and be taken to hospital that he has gone on to the electronic ones. 
They have some Nicotine in them, but not the smoke and tar, and apart from it having a different coloured light at the end, it is just like an ordinary one and gives out a vapour which looks like smoke, but isn't smoke.
You can get a trial one for about £5.99. The doctor at the hospital told John that he could use them for life and they were perfectly safe.
He had the patches before but if someone is used to having one in their hand then its the ideal solution.
I don't hear him struggling for breath as much now as smoking for so many years has seriously damaged his lungs.
I never thought I would see the day that John would use one of these, but he smoked more than 40 a day before. 

Maybe you could get your brother to at least give it a try.

Edited March 22, 2013 by NannyFerret

[Beth]

Hi Fuji, oh I am sorry to read your distress........I hope your brother's health improves, both physically and mentally in the way that he thinks about things.

Silly as it seems, but the way we think, affects the way we behave and can have catastrophic reactions on our life.  

You are doing all you can, so don't be too disheartened by your brother's profound insight re what's happening.

Thinking of you.

[Kobione]

Fuji, you must be going through a really hard time, so sorry!! Don't know that it's going to help things by saying I hope your brother comes to his senses. The smoking addiction can certainly have devastating effects - so glad Hubby gave it up when I was expecting our first child!  Good thoughts your way, Fuji, friend.

[colinb]

that's a hard one Fuji, personally I think there is a fine line between addiction and stubbornness. it is, after all, his life and whilst you make sense in what you say it may be difficult for him to see that.